Me Without You Read online

  Horrified, Jonah thought fast. It was beyond her hair or the way she looked or not being ready to face Xavier. It was the fear of explaining about the old woman and what happened to her. With a few quick steps, she knew she will make it out of the church in no time at all. She slid sideway past the long, narrow bench, cussing silently why she did not choose to occupy the space closest to the door.

  Jonah had almost reached the aisle towards her safety outside when she heard Xavier calling out to her, "Jonah, wait up!"

  As if on cue, Jonah stopped just as a strong punch-like sensation hit her stomach, making her feeble all over and weak in the knees. Then, her breath came in short gasps like she was both losing and having too much air at the same time. She looked behind her and stared directly into Xavier's eyes.

  "Ma’am, do you need some help?" It was Dean's voice who cried out to the old woman who had become hysterical.

  Jonah clutched her tummy and quickly continued walking outside before hearing what the woman had to say. She was also fast to ignore as Xavier called yet another time, "Jonah, please—let's talk!"

  When Jonah was outside, she broke into a run. She ran wildly into the parking lot even if the pain inside her gnawed for her to lie down and crunch and…die. It was strange but Jonah was overcome with the sense of dying and the fear of it.

  Chapter 10

  The Healer's Curse

  With shaky hands, Jonah opened the car's passenger door and got in. She locked herself inside the car, feeling grateful that she had the car keys with her. The strong pain in the middle of her stomach which was knocking the breath out of her hadn't subsided. She looked around her to ease the pain, not really knowing what she was looking for. Then, her breathing came in short gasps. She felt her upper arms slowly going limp. Her head started to feel light. Then, her thoughts came rushing in with the impending doom clearly nagging her. There was a very potent emotion of fear…the fear of being without anybody. Coupled with that, she also felt like knowing for certain any moment she will lose her grasp to reality. Although, death was a one-thing experience that nobody can really tell how it will be like, deep within her there was the sense of knowing that death was just a moment away.

  "This is crazy. No, please no!" she mustered to whisper an urgent prayer. "Please, God, help me!" Like a mantra, she repeatedly uttered the words of pleading. "God, no—please, no!"

  Then, images of the old woman came intruding through Jonah's mind. Although, Jonah was not quite sure whether she knew it from a dream or from reality, it was as if she had already met the woman before and the events she was seeing in her thoughts were just a continuation of a scene she had already experienced.

  The old woman was climbing a ladder. She was reaching out for a book from a floor-to-ceiling bookcase when she fell hard on the floor. She had fallen sideways, hitting her head and her hips. But almost every part of her body ached. She was moaning in pain, lying motionless on the floor.

  However, what struck Jonah was the fright the old woman was feeling over and above the physical pain. The fright of dying right there and then…alone. Jonah could feel the fear like it was her own amidst the pain in her insides.

  Then, a doctor came in and the surrounding transformed. The old woman was lying in bed. She looked fine. But the fear was still very potent.

  "You can't be on your own, Martha!" The doctor was saying. "It is not safe for you. Is there anyone we can call?"

  "No one," Martha answered. She was almost in tears. "My daughter is gone! She would have taken care of me. But she's gone."

  "Let me recommend a nursing—"

  "No!" Martha replied even before the doctor finished what he was gong to say.

  "A caregiver—"

  "No!"

  A slight tap on the window brought Jonah out of her reverie. It was Jane. She immediately opened the car door.

  The image of a younger Martha flashed through Jonah. Martha was with a child and they were both dancing with glee. Their feet were almost floating as they circled hand in hand, laughing and singing.

  "Maxine! Martha!" Jonah heard her own voice calling out to Martha and the child like old friends.

  It was only then that Jonah felt herself relaxed as if a heavy cloak covering her had been lifted up and relief came rushing in almost instantly.

  Jane looked at her horrified and asked, "What in the name happened to you?" she took hold of Jonah’s face in her hands.

  "Let’s go home," Jonah said weakly still managing to smile. She felt relieved to see Jane. In fact, she felt any living organism will make her feel glad. Her breathing was almost back to its regular rhythm. However, her heartbeats still felt like leaping out of her ears."You drive this time."

  "No, we’re getting you back in there for first aid," Jane insisted. "I am pretty sure Fr. Ulysses will gladly assist us. You looked like you just saw a ghost. You are even as pale as a ghost."

  "Please, let’s just go," Jonah begged. Her eyes darted towards the entrance of the Church. In a moment, Jonah caught sight of Xavier. If she managed to avoid him a moment ago, there was little hope for it then. He was running towards the direction of their car just as the old woman came out followed by Dean who was carrying the walker.

  "Not again!" Jane blurted out following Jonah’s gaze. "I thought I told you to stay away from him."

  When Xavier reached them, Jonah weakly stepped out of the car and held Jane by her arm who was already bashing him.

  "Stay away from her," Jane said, in a voice louder than her usual decibel. "I don't want to see you near her, do you get it?"

  However, Xavier wasn't listening to Jane at all. His eyes were directed towards Jonah, "Let's talk! Please, let's just talk!"

  "The nerve!" Jane cried out. "This is harassment! Stay away, young man. I am warning you!"

  "Jane, please!" Jonah begged. She saw Dean and the old woman from a distance watching what was going on. "Let us not create a scene here," she added.

  Jane took the keys from Jonah’s hand and went around the driver’s seat."I should have known from your reaction, it’s that boy again. Get in the car, Jonah."

  Xavier approached Jonah and briefly held her hand. "Jonah, please," he said, his eyes pleading.

  Jonah snatched her hand away only to put it firmly on his chest. Then, there was a burst of faint, grayish light coming out from Xavier's body. She backed away in shock. She looked at Xavier and he, too must have felt something. Although, she didn't have any idea if Xavier has seen the light, too. Then, the pain on her midsection started again.

  "Jonah, get in!" Jane scolded.

  Jonah walked to the car and got in hastily, leaving Xavier gaping at her for a few seconds. But in another minute, he was reaching out to her and tapping the car window. But Jane put the car into gear and sped off.

  Jonah griped low on her seat clutching her stomach. She was transported to another event she was familiar with. Just like the old woman, she was quite certain, it was just a sequel of another part.

  There was a boy…Jonah was quite certain the boy was Xavier even if she hadn't seen any pictures of him in his younger days. And there were voices.

  The boy was under the table sniffing the last of his tears. Jonah felt that he was very scared. And she quivered unwillingly.

  "Is someone here to pick you?" a girl's voice asked the boy. Jonah could not see her face. It was the boy's face with his blue, tear-filled eyes, which came so alive and close.

  Instead of getting an answer, the boy just hid himself deeper underneath the table. New set of tears were already brimming in his eyes. He began to cry again.

  An arm had extended a chocolate bar to him."Here— just don’t cry. And we can wait together until someone picked you up."

  Jonah watched as a raised pinky was directed towards the boy but he did not take it. Then, Jonah saw an eight-year-old version of herself squatting beside the boy and cutting the candy in half. She was thrusting the smaller part towards him and forcibly taking his pinky and linking hers with him
to seal their pact.

  "What’s your name? I’m Jonah," Jonah said taking a bite of her chocolate. She looked at the boy who stared back at her wide-eyed registering his trepidation."Don’t worry, we’ll just hide in here until somebody picks you up."

  The boy merely nodded his head and spoke not a word.

  "Jonah, are you alright?" It was Jane's voice which broke through Jonah's thoughts.

  "Pull over!" Jonah sputtered the words.

  "Not here, I can't!" Jane said looking at the rearview mirror and the stream of vehicles behind her.

  "I need to—" Jonah stuttered yet another time. She rummaged through the compartment, found a paper bag and began throwing up.

  With one hand on the steering wheel and eyes on the road, Jane ran a free hand at Jonah's back, caressing her spine every once in a while. "We'll be home soon," she murmured softly. "Sit back and shut your eyes. It will keep your head from spinning. There's a bottle of water somewhere in there as well, drink it slowly."

  Cold sweat flowed through Jonah's back and temples. Her arms and legs were all sticky with perspiration. She took a sip of water and leaned back on her chair. As she closed her eyes, the influx of images were present once again.

  There were still the remaining traces from the boy hiding underneath the table. But Jonah could clearly see Xavier all grown up. And she was so certain he was the same boy. There was still the unmistakable sense of fear, only deeper and stronger.

  Jonah watched Xavier curled up in his bed and crying. He was muttering silently to himself but she could not understand a word he was saying.

  "X, it's Jonah. It's going to be okay. Everything's going to be fine now," she told him warmly. "It's me, Jonah!"

  Xavier continued to cry. It was as if he couldn't see her or hear her. Jonah went closer to him…and closer still… until she was seated on his bed next to him. Her hand reached out to him to stroke his hair.

  And then, much to Jonah's surprise, she was seeing Rebecca, running her fingers through Xavier's blond hair.

  Jonah opened her eyes quickly. She realized she must have dozed off. Jane was beside her still driving both of them home.

  "I told you to just sit back and close your eyes, Jonah! It hasn't even been five minutes yet since you closed your eyes," Jane said. "The more restless you are, the worse you'd be feeling."

  When Jonah shut her eyes off, the images that came through her were still that of Xavier.

  "X!" Jonah was calling out to Xavier. She had recognized the event. It was the first time they met. "Mr. X! Wait up!" she fell in step with him. Refusing not to get a word from him, she chattered on. "If we're going to be lab partners, we need to talk. Do you even talk? I don't even know your name."

  When Jonah still could not get any response from him, she just stopped in the middle of her tracks. The boy also stopped. He looked exasperated for a moment. He took in a long breath and sighed. He peeked at his watch impatiently.

  "You go ahead!" Jonah said. "I won’t bother you anymore. Just tell me your name."

  He sighed again. However, there was a soft, lopsided thin line which formed in his lips— it was by far the most endearing half-smile Jonah had ever seen in her entire life.

  "There has to be a name that goes with every face," she teased allowing her own smile to surface on her face. "Let X be the unknown? Or is it A, B, C?"

  "Let me be known as X!" a golden rumble of a voice answered.

  "Fine. X it is if you insist," she told him.

  "Only close friends and family call me that. It's Xavier!" he said.

  "X! X! X!" Jonah said continuously and Xavier smiled. "Now we're close!" She could feel the connection she has with Xavier. And she felt Xavier's happiness because of her.

  Jonah's breathing became easier. The pain in her stomach was almost gone. It was a relief that the nausea seemed to have abated too. The only remnant of her bouts earlier was the fatigue she felt. All she really wanted was to stretch out on her bed and sleep, "Jane, why aren't we there yet?" Jonah inquired. "It can't be that long!"

  "I am trying to lose your sick boyfriend over there, who decided to follow us," Jane said, indicating Xavier's car which was behind them. "Don’t make me say it again, Jonah! Stay away from him!" she added and frowned.

  Chapter 11

  The Chase

  "Please, hurry Lucas—don't lose that car!" Xavier instructed the driver.

  A thin line pulled Xavier's lips into a smile as he recalled the day Jonah took him to Church, the very last place he would find himself lingering long. But a realization made his brows burrowed in a scowl.

  Funny, but Xavier and Jonah had gone there so she could prove to him she wouldn’t burn inside the place. He had confided in her earlier on that there was a point he feared her because of what he heard about her family—that they were a family of witch doctors who curse people to grave illness and death.

  "I am not a witch, I swear," Jonah had told him. "And I can prove it to you. Let’s go to Church together. See if something strange will happen to me."

  Jonah had been in a playful mood. She had pretended to hesitate at the last step by the entrance.

  "Brace yourself," Jonah said with mocked seriousness. "If I burn, don't call 911. The burning won't kill me. But the humiliation will put me to death. So, here goes!" She dramatically entered the building. By mere coincidence, there was a wind blowing in their direction which blew Jonah's hair to her face, which made Xavier laughed out loud.

  "Now, that's strange!" he had told her.

  Jonah had pouted like a child and told Xavier, "So, I am not that strong yet like the rest of the family!"

  But now she is strong… Xavier realized. Strongest among the rest of them all. Aunt Gilda could be right—Jonah's the new greatest healer.

  Xavier had felt something back in the Church when Jonah touched him. It was a strange and warm sensation all over his body. However, it could also be the effect of seeing her again. Whatever the reason was, there was something in her touch…it was healing him and making him feel good.

  But now that I have found my voice, she won’t listen. I can’t blame her. I am to blame. It’s all me. Xavier pondered, miffed by what just happened.

  For such a long time he had not spoken, his family had thought he had a speech problem as a child. They even considered the possibility that he was autistic. But when they realized nothing was wrong with him, aside from the reality that he just wanted to be silent, they never bothered with him at all.

  As an adult, he was the loner and often times his teachers complained never hearing his voice at all. Jonah was the only one who made him speak. She showed him the beauty of the words to speak what was inside his heart.

  She even made him sing…

  When Xavier and Jonah were in the church where she tried to prove she wasn't a witch at all, at the back of his mind, it was also a perfect excuse to make out inside the church because it was the very last place people would find couples making out.

  It was when Dean had discovered them in the balcony.

  "Man! Don’t you have any other place else—" Dean reprimanded, looking embarrassed for the two of them.

  "Come on, Dean," Jonah said on the verge of laughing out loud. "It was one innocent kiss."

  "Innocent, huh?" Dean assessed Jonah and Xavier's faces.

  Xavier must have looked so guilty then that Dean looked more uncomfortable by the minute.

  "Dean, please!" Jonah said, by that time she was already laughing out loud, ignoring the half-frozen expression on Xavier's face.

  "Why don’t you come down and give me a hand at the altar," Dean quickly added and left in haste.

  That fateful day was also the day when Xavier discovered, he would rather use his voice to sing than to speak. He initially did it for Jonah because she was pesteringly insistent. And yes, he wanted to show off. But he never realized that music had first loved him, only waiting to be revealed. It was a great surprise for himself and his family that he will eventually f
all in love with singing.

  And yet, Jonah was not surprised at all. It was as if she knew him more than he knew himself. Their senior year was almost coming to a close when they started seeing each other. And in a blink of an eye, Xavier had to discover he was terribly sick. That was when he got confused and he refused to be with anybody again. He even stayed away from Jonah for reasons he couldn’t understand. He had suddenly ceased to feel anything, not even the fear about the inevitability of death because of his illness or the reality of leaving Jonah behind.

  She made me sing…And yet, I left her anyway…and without a word. Xavier mused. If only I hadn’t been such a coward…if only I wasn’t blinded by my own incomprehensible feelings.

  "If only—" Xavier said out loud which earned him a curious look from Lucas.

  Xavier looked towards Jonah's car, which was gaining speed and missing their turn to their home address. There were two other cars separating between their cars.

  "We're losing them," Xavier announced.

  "Sir Xavier, why don't we just proceed to their house? Why do we have to chase them?" Lucas asked cautiously.

  "Because now— I think, they will hide her from me," Xavier answered.

  Just then a Phantom Black Rolls Royce dangerously cut right in front of them. Lucas had to put on the brakes in a flash or they would have kissed the luxury car's bumper.

  The other car started to glide at a slower pace. Lucas put on some speed and attempted to pass through, but the other vehicle would take almost the whole lane. When Lucas swerved to the right, the other car would also veer to the right, intentionally blocking the way. This prevented Lucas from overtaking it.

  Then, the other car halted abruptly and Lucas' had to follow suit, cutting off his engine in the middle of the road. By the time, the black car started again, Jonah's car had gained a lot of distance and was disappearing from view.