Me Without You Read online

  Me Without You

  By Rona Go

  Copyright 2012 Rona Go

  Smashwords Edition

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  Cover Image by: Michal Marcol

  Chapter 1

  Forget Forever

  Roaring Brook Township, PA

  "X!" Jonah shouted at the top of her lungs, her chilling voice reverberated throughout the mansion. Horrified, she saw Xavier fell off the Mahogany-clad staircase. Xavier first landed on the upper fourth tread, hit his head on the steel balusters and rolled downward to the first landing.

  With one shoe missing, Jonah went after him, taking two steps at a time. When she reached him, Xavier was still able to stand up. He clung on to her for support. Then, slightly pushing her and dragging his own body, they both headed towards the direction of the front door.

  "Go, get out!" Xavier commanded in his orneriest tone. "Hurry!" On his first attempt to open the heavy oak double-door, he was only able to budge it open a few inches before it closed again. With his next try, he used one foot, planted his two hands and put his weight to open it and let Jonah pass through before he followed her.

  Xavier stumbled face forward when he and Jonah were out on the porch. "Ouch!" he cried out painfully.

  Jonah, who was a few steps away from him, retraced her steps to help him up.

  "No!" Xavier instructed, while he rolled over on his back. "Go, get out of here. It is not safe for you. Get help! Hurry!" He felt through his jean pockets and found his phone. He thrust it towards her and added, "911!"

  "You need help, too!" Jonah insisted. With trembling hands, she dialed Xavier's home number. She was thinking it would be faster for his family to arrive, being neighbors. Tears began to trickle down her face. She sat by Xavier's side while waiting for someone on the other end to pick up her call.

  Weakly, Xavier tried to push her up."No time to waste, Jonah. Please, go!" he stammered.

  "No— no, no! I am not going anywhere," Jonah said, her tears were already coming in torrents. She could hardly speak in between laborious breathings. "Please stop pushing me away! Don't push me away like you did. I won't leave you this time!"

  Xavier coughed out loud. He moved to his side, facing her and began throwing up what looked like watery saliva.

  "Hello!" a male voice boomed through on the other end of the line.

  "Hello! This is Jonah Blood. X is badly hurt. He fell off the stairs and hit his head. We're at our place. Please help," Jonah croaked.

  Xavier coughed violently again. Then, he spat out blood. He reached out for her hand and held it softly. "I won't be pushing you away if it weren't for your own good," he uttered and mustered a little smile, his lips was all red with blood.

  Jonah cried even harder, feeling more afraid. She had no idea what else to do. She dialed 911 and waited. Waiting for help to come was killing her. She heard a busy tone.

  "X!" she whispered his name.

  "Jonah! I hurt!" Xavier whispered back. A tear started to run down his cheek. "But please don't do anything stupid—promise me!"

  Jonah knew quite well what Xavier meant. She had just discovered that she was bestowed with her mother's immense power to heal. But coupled with the gift of healing was the curse of immortality. All she needed to do was seal her fate by giving life to someone dying.

  "We've talked about this," Xavier said, breathing heavily.

  Jonah and Xavier had discussed the whole thing a thousandth time. Although, they haven't reached a conclusion yet, it was so clear to her what she needed to do when the time has finally arrived. It was one choice she will regret for the rest of her life, but it will be a choice she will choose over and over again.

  Even if it meant—she can't be with Xavier forever…because she can't be without him for now…or tomorrow…or the next day.

  "I can't let you go!" Jonah answered him back in between sobs.

  "We can't be together for long anyway. Not in this lifetime," Xavier argued weakly.

  "Still—" Jonah insisted.

  "I'd rather lose you now and be with you for eternity than have you and lose you forever," Xavier mumbled. "A lifetime is so short to be together. This is not all there is—believe me."

  "Then, don't leave me!" Jonah said. Tears were still welling up nonstop. "Don't fall asleep. Don't blink an eye. Don't leave me."

  "Rather dif—cult to stay 'wake now," Xavier said ruefully. "I hurt—my head— my body—'ven my eyes."

  "Please, X!" Jonah pleaded, sensing any moment Xavier will lose consciousness. "Talk to me!"

  "'Tis hard to talk! And think," Xavier said in a soft voice which was barely a whisper. Then, he closed his eyes. "One thing though—love you so much, Jonah!"

  "X!!??" Jonah screamed. She was feeling frantic. She touched his head and looked at his chest. There was still the rhythmic movement of rising and falling, albeit weak.

  "Don't touch him!" a deep male voice commanded from behind. It was Hugh.

  "Hugh!" Jonah cried out, relief flooding all over her.

  Hugh immediately ran to Xavier's side. He took off his jacket and placed it carefully underneath Xavier's head and tilted it back a little. He inspected Xavier's breathing. He looked towards Jonah and commanded her, "Call 911!"

  Jonah dialed the number once again. Just then, the Lively's car hastily turned up in the driveway. Dr. Christopher Lively, together with his wife and Gilda Byrne followed by the family driver, all came out of the car.

  "Where's X?" Helen Lively hysterically cried out. She was a matronly woman with light-colored hair. She still had her pajamas underneath her black, cashmere summer jacket. Upon seeing Xavier's motionless body, she backed away. "Xavier? No! God, Hugh, what happened here?"

  "He fell off the stairs," Jonah started to explain.

  Helen's eyes focused on Jonah. The older woman took her by the arm and dragged her away from Xavier. "I told you to stay away from X, didn't I?"

  "Helen!" Dr. Lively said, looking annoyed. He had already joined Hugh by Xavier's side and was checking his pulse.

  Gilda Byrne took Helen by the arm and spoke up, "Not now, Helen!" Her face, although heavily made-up, was turning white to match the color of her white hair. "This is not the time!"

  "911!" a voice coming from the phone broke through.

  Helen snatched the phone from Jonah's hand and talked to the person on the other end of the line.

  "He was attacked and fell off the stairs," Jonah supplied for Helen.

  With trembling voice, Helen said, "There appears to be an attack—by the forehead. Just a little blood. He has a history of leukemia. Yes, please—. I don't know— He's on a remission. No signs of convulsion. But he's unconscious." There was a pause before she continued speaking, "My husband is a doctor. He's here with us. Dr. Christopher Lively. Yes, please—hurry." All the while Gilda was softly caressing her back to comfort her.

  "X!" Jonah whispered, looking at Xavier's unconscious body right in front of her. She could clearly see his pallid face with his bruised forehead, a little blood oozing out of it.

  "Who wants to live forever? Do you want to live forever?" asked a very familiar voice in her head. Although, there was no face which went along with the voice, it was still very clear in Jonah's mind how Xavier asked her about living forever as a healer.

  She was once asked in a sorority party after she vehemently refused to take some dope the
same question that nagged her at the moment.

  "Yeah, but who wants to die young?" she had retorted. Back then, she was quite proud and had even thought she was wise about the way she handled the whole thing. She never had the chance to answer Xavier then.

  It was no time to be slick. Neither was it time to be stupid. She only had a matter of nanoseconds to deal with the reality and destiny to live forever or let Xavier die young.

  A split second… in her own fearful voice, it entered her thoughts. And the rest of her thoughts were a circle of nonsensical chatter, she couldn't even make any sense out of them, yet heard them audibly. What do I do now? Xavier doesn't have to know. He will understand if he knew later on anyway. I can't breathe. Yet I am breathing…

  She looked around her. Everybody was moving in a flash, like a speed of light with so much grace and certainty, it amazed her. They seemed to know exactly what they had to do. It looked like they had rehearsed the whole scene and there was no room for double takes.

  She realized that even Gilda, who stood by Helen's side like the two of them were the epitome of yin-yang, just looking at the whole situation, knew exactly what they had to do—to just look and be anxious.

  What am I supposed to do? Another tug of voice jolted her uncomfortably. Am I not supposed to heal him?

  "Hugh, please—get away from our dear boy, Xavier!" Gilda said. "You'll only make it worse!"

  For a quick moment, Hugh stopped what he was doing and stared hard at Gilda. He was about to challenge her remark but chose to ignore her at the moment. Just then, Xavier's eyes opened and he croaked trying to clear his throat. Xavier limply reached for Hugh's arm and tugged at it.

  Hugh bent forward, putting his ear near Xavier's lips and listened. His hazel eyes briefly darted to where Jonah was standing.

  Sensing that Xavier has gained consciousness, everybody stopped what they were doing in an instant. It seemed as if everybody even forgot to breathe for awhile. Even Helen's whimpering was suspended.

  Then, Xavier began a round of irregular gasps for breath and passed out again.

  And what seemed like a rehearsed routine became a frantic move about.

  Dr. Lively, with his tousled dark brown hair, impervious coffee-colored eyes and a stethoscope circling his neck, roughly ordered, "No pulse—Hugh, we will need CPR! Quick!"

  Hugh looked up and directed his attention towards Dr. Lively. With his blond hair, sticking to his head, damp from his own sweat, he carefully completed removing Xavier's shirt to expose an emaciated chest with a Port-a-Cath on the upper right and went to assist the older man.

  "One—two—three!" Dr. Lively counted, pressing both hands through Xavier's chest. "Come on, X!" He breathed through his mouth, once—twice—three times. Then, he repeated the process of pressing through Xavier's chest. "One—two—three!" He looked towards Hugh, who shook his head lightly.

  As if on cue, it was that nanosecond which prompted Jonah what exactly she had to do…

  This is it… She told herself. No time to lose. No time to reason.

  She took quick steps towards Xavier but a hand stopped her.

  "You will seal your fate forever. There's no going back. You will have to live forever like the rest of us," Gilda said, "even if Xavier will die and leave you—which he eventually will. Are you sure?"

  "No, I am not sure—" Jonah said, her voice quivering. Tears were starting to fall from her eyes once again. "But I can't wait until I'm sure. I can't let him go yet. Not yet."

  Gilda let go off her hand.

  Jonah approached Xavier's body and Dr. Lively stopped pumping at his son's chest.

  "We've lost him!" Dr. Lively said. "He's gone!" Although, he was rubbing his eyes, tears squeezed through and flowed through his cheeks.

  "No, Dad—don't stop!" Hugh slumped back dejectedly. His face was a mask of bland expression.

  "No!" Helen screamed. "No, X—no!"

  Dr. Lively immediately rushed to his wife and held her in his arms. Both of their legs gave away and they lowered themselves to the floor, wailing in deep sorrow.

  Jonah knelt on Xavier's side. She positioned both her hands above his chest. Still feeling the warmth coming from Xavier's body, she took in a lungful of air to breathe out life to Xavier and to choose to live forever as the greatest healer in the world.

  X, I want you now and here…Forget forever…

  It was still fresh in Jonah's mind how she got into that position. It all started with a vision and a deal.

  Chapter 2

  The Deal

  Jonah placed both hands on Xavier's chest. She pushed a little. Although, she was not sure where it was coming from, she could feel something hot igniting between her hands and Xavier's body. She pushed some more. The air became hotter.

  And pushed a little more…

  There was no movement. There was no response coming from Xavier. His eyes were closed and he was still not breathing. Jonah pushed harder. She did not withdraw and let her hands stay on Xavier's chest, until it felt like she was dipping her hands over a hot plate. Then, the burning sensation was gone.

  But Xavier remained immobile…and yes, perhaps—really dead.

  Jonah stirred him softly. Whispering his name over and over again, "X! X! X!"

  Tears began forming in Jonah's eyes. She slumped over his body. With her head on his chest, she allowed herself to pour out her grief and wept. She cried and cried even when there were no more tears flowing. Then, she felt two strong arms, prying her away from Xavier.

  All of a sudden, Jonah felt an acute rising of Xavier's chest. She excitedly straightened up to see if he was breathing again. And indeed, there was the steady rising of his chest.

  "Anyone! Help! X is breathing—" Jonah called out urgently.

  The two strong arms which were still holding her shoulders quickly pulled her up her feet, away from Xavier's body.

  "X is alive!" Jonah cried out triumphantly.

  "Yes, Xavier will live!" a male voice boomed out near her ear.

  Jonah jumped back, getting out of her reverie. She looked around. She was sitting on the Lively's front porch steps. Her face felt sticky all over. She realized she had been crying so hard. Her face was covered with strands of her long hair sticking to her face.

  I have fallen asleep… It immediately dawned on Jonah where she was. The vision of her and Xavier again...and it was fading fast.

  Although, there were times when the vision of healing Xavier entered Jonah's mind when she least thought of him, it had never revealed itself in a dream the way it came when she was asleep right in front of Xavier's porch steps.

  She was no psychic or dream interpreter, and she couldn't even remember the details anymore, but she believed the vision meant she will be playing a strong role in Xavier's healing. For this reason that she kept coming back to the mansion even if Xavier had not, even once, obliged to seeing her. Even if she had been warned off by the Lively matriarch time and again never to come back.

  She didn't really know what was going on. The whole thing was a blur. She and Xavier had started dating the latter part of their senior year. Then, one day he was chilling so badly and contracted a fever. Ever since, she had not heard anything from him. Not a text message, not an email—nothing. He seemed to have disappeared to nowhere. He didn't even finish school.

  She heard of rumors that Xavier was terribly ill. Even his mother had confirmed just as much. Nevertheless, she had to see for herself. She wanted to see him all the more.

  "You've been here for three hours," the boy said, cutting through her thoughts. "Aren't you tired? X will not see you today."

  "Or tomorrow, or the next day— I know," Jonah answered sarcastically. Looking at him with squinted eyes and holding one hand like a visor to shield her vision from the sun, she added, "But I am not leaving!"

  "Don't you get it?" the boy asked.

  Jonah stared at him for a moment. He was standing over her with both his hands on his hips and an exasperated look in his face.
He couldn't have been older or younger than Xavier. He looked more like Xavier's own age. He stood towering over six feet. He had the same blond hair Xavier had. But he kept his a little longer with his bangs almost covering his hazel eyes. He was wearing a white shirt underneath a button-down, pink lawn shirt with rolled up sleeves, shorts with thin-line prints of some sort and sockless deck shoes.

  "No, I don't get it," Jonah said, looking down at herself. Seeing her tattered jeans exposing both her knees, she lowered her face and let her chin rests on them, crinkling her mouth almost in a pout. Then, she buried her face in her hands and began to cry again.

  The boy sat right in front of Jonah and battled to look into her eyes against her reluctance to show her tear-stained face, and her long black mane which he had to wrestle away from her face only to have them back on with the wind blowing from behind.

  With so much annoyance in his voice, he told her to cut her hair off, "Let go off something heavy and the others will follow."

  This made Jonah giggle in the middle of her tears. She wiped her face off and said, "You think cutting my hair off will make things go away? No way! I can sit here forever, you know!"

  "I know," the boy said, standing up again. "But I can't let you do that!"

  "And why's that?" Jonah looked at him curiously.

  He could indeed be family… she thought. All of them want me gone.

  Although, she hadn't remembered Xavier mentioning he had a brother. But of course, Xavier couldn't have said anything about a brother, just like he couldn't have told her why he suddenly stopped seeing her. There were a lot of things she didn't know about Xavier after all. She didn't even recall Xavier telling her about his Aunt Gilda.

  Before Xavier moved to their town, Jonah had always known that they had a neighbor, Gilda Byrne, whom she had only laid eyes on once or twice ever since she was little. Her own Aunt Judith had mentioned that Gilda was a recluse.

  Jonah was surprised to know Xavier and his family had moved in next door. It was even a more pleasant surprise for her to see Xavier in person and fell in love with him.

  "Hugh— I am X's brother," Hugh said amusingly. He changed the subject matter and added, "So, X's got himself a girlfriend, huh?"