Me Without You Page 2

  Jonah felt alarmed, thinking Xavier may not even think of her anymore. Looking embarrassed, she told him, "That's why I am here, I need a closure—"

  "You broke up?" Hugh asked. "Sorry, didn't mean to pry."

  "Your brother bailed out on me—" Jonah said, hot flush creeping up her face. "Although, I don't know if it's for good or what. You see, he does this thing sometimes—"

  "Hibernate?" Hugh interrupted.

  "Is that how he calls it? He doesn't return calls. He doesn't show up. He disappears—especially after something good happens—he just goes, I don't know where," Jonah muttered.

  Jonah had a first-hand experience of the odd way Xavier often kept himself away from people. There were times when he had been so sweet, surprising her and turning up in places where she least expected him to be. Once, he had shown up at the grocery while she had been shopping with her sister, Jane, just to tell her he missed her.

  However, the next few days, she didn't see him anywhere. And no matter how many text messages she sent his way, he never texted her back. And it drove her crazy thinking she had done something wrong for him not to return her messages. But when he finally showed up, there was no way to stay angry or frustrated at him, because he was the sweetest guy in the world again, showering her with kisses and loving words.

  "That's our X!" Hugh said and grinned.

  It irritated Jonah that Hugh could find it amusing that his brother could behave that oddly.

  "I am used to it, you know," Jonah went on. "His—" she gestured with her fingers like she was scribbling quotation marks in the air for emphasis, before she continued sarcastically, "—hibernation usually ends in days. But it's been almost a month and a half now. And it's already getting nasty. It's selfish. It's childish. It's—"

  "Look, I'll tell X, you dropped by," Hugh said and looked at his watch impatiently. "So you don't have to worry about it—"

  "Yeah, and you'd tell him to call me, and I'll just wait—" Jonah uttered, "I've heard that somewhere and it never happened."

  Jonah recalled Xavier's mother telling her the same things the very first few times she requested to see him. It was probably out of politeness for her sake. But when nothing happened and Jonah kept coming back anyway, Mrs. Lively had not been too polite anymore and threatened to even call the police if she didn't stop wanting to see Xavier.

  Hugh peered at his watch again and looked behind his back. He directed his eyes towards the lane which stretched out a mile to the entrance of the homestead. He looked anxious about something."Would you like to stretch out and take a walk instead? You can tell me all about it," he offered.

  "No!" Jonah replied adamantly. It was very obvious to her that Hugh was trying to get her away from the place. Perhaps, it was because Xavier was arriving soon and Hugh didn't want her to see him or him her.

  Hugh was carefully choosing his words when he told her, "Look, mom is arriving soon. I've heard what she told you the last time you were here. That was quite uncomfortable. Save yourself from more of that. It won't bring you to see X anyway."

  How much broken will Jonah be after all these? She didn't care. She knew that her stubbornness will not get her anywhere. Neither will Xavier's mother's insults toward her do her any favor. Hugh was right— the whole thing will even scathe her more. However, Xavier owed her an explanation. If he has changed his mind about her, she had the right to know. Not that it would lessen the blow, but it will kick her off to move on and forget about him.

  In hindsight though, there was her inner voice which told her, it wouldn't take long before Xavier will realize that he needed her, especially at these trying times. Her inner voice may be wrong, but it was the deep longing she had in her heart. And she just couldn't ignore it. Xavier needed her…he only needed to realize that.

  Dropping both hands from his hips to his knees, Hugh bent lower to meet her gaze. "Look, I'll make you a deal," Hugh stated slowly, "save me the scene of embarrassing all of us from a confrontation with my mom and I'll make sure you will get all the information you need about X even if you don't get to see him. I think that will be fair enough. You may not see him but you will still be informed of how he's doing until he gets out of his hibernation to tell you himself."

  Jonah reflected for a moment. As much as she really wanted to see and talk to Xavier herself, Hugh's offer sounded better than nothing at all. She could wait until Xavier realizes he needed her in his life. Until then, she will be able to follow through with what goes on with his life, like she was sharing his journey herself.

  "How often?" Jonah eyed him suspiciously.

  "24/7 if you like. You can monitor all you like and I can give you the 411." Hugh straightened up and looked behind his back again.

  Jonah followed his gaze, just in time to see a car which just turned up the lane heading towards the house.

  Hugh urgently extended his hands towards her. "Please!" he pleaded. He had looked genuinely anxious.

  Although, Jonah had met Xavier's mother a number of times and she had exchanged unpleasant encounters with her, she couldn't quite understand Hugh's apprehension of having her face his mom once again.

  If Hugh only encountered Rebecca Blood… he would probably say his mom was just a cub. She was nowhere near being fearful than the Blood matriarch. Jonah was thinking.

  Hoping to get more out of the situation, Jonah tried to play around and started to say, "It's not what I hoped for—"

  However, Hugh instantly said, "Good!" He pulled Jonah by the elbow roughly, until she was standing so close to him, her forehead was almost touching his lips.

  "I didn't—" Jonah tried to argue, wanting to establish the terms amidst smelling Hugh's fresh scent which made her feel strangely comfortable with him.

  Smiling from ear to ear, looking pleased with himself, Hugh hurriedly said, "We will have to use the backdoor to get you out of here." He was already dragging her towards a trail that will lead to the woods, a short cut route back to the Blood mansion.

  "Your backdoor will lead us back to our property," Jonah informed him.

  "Ah, of course, we're neighbors," Hugh muttered under his breath. "That's even better. I can just go to your house and give you the 411."

  Has he forgotten the rift between both families? Jonah reflected.

  There were talks that Jonah's mother put a curse on the Lively family because of a longstanding feud with Gilda Byrne, which pushed them into hiding in different countries, only to return when the children were grown up. Although, Jonah wasn't really privy to what went wrong between two families, she knew that Rebecca shared bad blood with Gilda Byrne that even the mere mention of her name will likely set fire on the Blood's house. To make matter's worse, Xavier and her dated without the two families knowing until the former got sick and she kept turning up in their doorstep.

  Just the thought of Hugh in her house giving her information about Xavier, with Rebecca Blood knowing about it, gave her the chills.

  "No!" Jonah said vehemently. "I will set a place and time."

  "Fine!" Hugh urgently answered Jonah and resumed dragging her behind him.

  Jonah stopped and whirled around to see if the car was near the house. Then, she blurted out, "Tell me something now!"

  Hugh looked at her exasperatedly. Then, he sighed and resigned to her, "X's got leukemia. He's on chemotherapy now."

  Although, the piece of information made her worry about Xavier, Jonah managed to smile at Hugh and said, "I'll be expecting for more!" she shook out of his grasp and proceeded the trail to the back of the house. "I can manage from here," she called out to him and ran off.

  Half-way through, she realized she didn't ask Hugh, "How bad is it? Will X make it?"

  Chapter 3

  The Smite

  Hugh was thinking it was a backdrop of a serene and comfortable place one could ever imagine. Fresh flowers were almost in every corner of the room. There was a soft, jazz music playing and the sound of water flowing from the miniature fountain, in the back
ground. And the colors around were at play in hues of coffee-caramel and cream.

  Hugh's eyes darted towards Xavier, who slowly slid off the hood of his khaki cardigan, revealing a clean, bald head. He looked right at home as he took his place in a high-back recliner near the window.

  "Is it okay if we close the blinds?" Xavier asked.

  "I'll get it!" Hugh offered, going immediately by the window and pulled on the blinds, darkening the room a bit.

  Helen Lively was seated in a settee in one corner of the same light-colored shades, pulling an ottoman, as she rested her feet.

  "Is there anything else you need, X?" Helen asked, with a smile plastered across her face and looking fondly at her son.

  Xavier's eyes were directed towards the side table where he placed his glass of water and Ipod. "Maybe later," he told her, snuggling right into the big chair.

  Helen took out a book from her bag and showed it to him, "Got myself this," she added. Xavier took his Ipod and waved it at her and smiled.

  Forty-eight days, nine hours, thirty-six minutes and ten seconds after they learned that Xavier was afflicted with the most aggressive type of cancer of the blood. However, it was the last round of chemotherapy session Xavier was going to have. That was how everyone had been aware of the time and counting down towards Xavier's recovery.

  Xavier was supposed to go through four cycles for a period of two months. His body can only accommodate one session per two weeks. But the last round, Xavier had been very impatient and he wanted to get it done and over with breaking the two-week pattern. He could have chosen to be confined for a day in the hospital but he opted to have his session right at the doctor's clinic and go home right after he consumed bags of strong medicine, which he often referred to as the venom for an already poisoned blood.

  Hugh took the seat next to Helen. He pulled an ottoman closer and put one leg on top of it. In a few seconds, he was slowly moving his leg sideways and relaxing a little bit. Xavier's chemotherapy-session days were always hectic for everyone, especially right after the whole thing. They were always on their toes and they even lose sleep in the evenings, particularly Helen, who never leaves Xavier's side. However, nothing can be worse than what Xavier had to go through.

  Hugh's phone vibrated from his pocket and an instant message from X-girlfiend came up. It was the name he registered for Jonah and it never failed to make him snicker.

  411? The message simply said.

  As promised, Hugh had been feeding her with everything about Xavier. He had been seeing her for days. Sometimes, there was nothing really new he had to report to her about Xavier. It could be just as trivial as Xavier did not want to take a shower that day or as big as he was itching all over his body and couldn't stop scratching. There was even a day when he reported nothing at all. But he kept coming to their designated places. Sometimes, they would meet by the dried-up pond connecting both of their families' properties. At other times, they met at the church. And curiously, Jonah, too, kept meeting him.

  Hugh grinned. He was thinking about— Jonah. Her guts was something he couldn't totally like and totally hate at the same time. He felt like shaking her hard to face reality but at the same time hold her hand and teach her to embrace faith. He looked towards Xavier and felt guilty. He quite knew that what they had wasn't over yet. He shook the feeling off instantly— only to be replaced by the green-eyed monster.

  If he had gone to the same school Jonah and Xavier attended, perhaps he had met her first. Perhaps, it was he—

  But his past had made him begged off not to go to the same school Xavier went to. It was really a childish thing. He didn't want to have to explain to anybody. With the age difference of almost months and the different surnames, he was tired of people wanting to know if he and Xavier were real blood brothers—because they were not.

  Actually, Gilda Byrne was his true mother…but he grew up with the Lively family, a distant relative, when Gilda was too embarrassed to become a mother to him after she got pregnant out of wedlock. The Livelys loved him like their own. Xavier was like a brother to him. And there was nothing he wished for than Xavier's recovery.

  What would it be like to have Jonah in this room sitting beside him? Hugh was reflecting. Happy family…Yeah, it would make for a picture-perfect, calming portrait— Xavier, surrounded by people he loved and who loved him.

  Hugh saw Xavier fumbling through the recliner to adjust it. Thankful for the diversion, he stood up and said, "Here, let me do it!"

  When Xavier was almost in a lying position, he told Hugh, "That's enough." Then, he nodded gratefully.

  Hugh went back to the settee and Helen rumpled his hair. She took another book from her bag and passed it to him.

  "No," Hugh told her. "I think I'll sleep."

  Just then, Dr. Lively and Dr. Moore, Xavier's oncologist came in. They were already preparing the medicines. Dr. Moore put on his mask and moved beside Xavier to start the preparations on the Port-a-Cath.

  Hugh remembered how Xavier's hands suffered, turning violet and blue and almost unrecognizable the first few rounds of his sessions. Along the way, when too many tubes began to pile up and were inserted on either one of Xavier's hands that even his veins were already complaining, the implant was a big relief for him.

  "I never knew you read—" Hugh moved his head sideways to read the title of the book. "erotica!" he teased Helen, pointing towards the book. Of course, it was just something he had to do to take Helen's eyes away from what was going on. He knew Helen was squeamish at the sight of needles.

  "Oh, come on—give me a break, Hugh! Sexy, sexy is nice." Helen complained and grinned. "You can't expect me to read How to Spend Your Time Waiting through a Chemo Session, can you?"

  "Really? There's a book about that?" Hugh asked, smiling at her.

  "Silly," Helen answered and laughed. "I don't know. Do you want to know some of my favorite parts?"

  "Mom, please! No!" Hugh laughed.

  When Hugh and Helen looked towards Xavier, Dr. Moore was checking the highly-powerful drugs again. Drops were slowly dripping from the bag, down to the tube connecting to the Port-a-Cath on Xavier's chest, on its way to killing the cancer cells.

  One look from Xavier's face and Hugh knew the serenity was broken. Xavier had always been calm the past sessions he had. Hugh couldn't understand why all of a sudden, Xavier was showing a slight inconvenience. And this started to make Hugh uncomfortable as well, which he knew he couldn't afford because of the smite…

  But it was too late…Hugh had felt the slight foreboding sense of dread to come. He subtly looked around him, looking for anything unusual. He had not once seen the smite, he didn't know what to expect.

  He jumped a little when he saw, from the corner of his right eye, something that was shapeless and dark, coming out from the marble-tiled floor. He looked directly in that direction and nothing was there. But again, from the corner of his left eye, the same dark breath arose from the floor heading towards Xavier. And when he looked directly, the spot was empty.

  "Hugh, is everything alright?" Helen asked which made Hugh jerk suddenly.

  It took Hugh a while before he could stammer, "Yes! Fine." He was sensing more of the black movement from the side of his eyes. And yet when he scanned the room more intently, he couldn't see anything.

  Although, nothing unusual happened from the past sessions, Gilda was certain, they may just come up. And Hugh regretted not listening to her to know what to do. There was no doubt, the smite was all around him.

  The smite… Gilda had warned Hugh about them. According to her, the smite will dash to pieces anybody who were at their lowest state. They rip everything a person has—his memory, his thoughts and his body. Not visible to the naked eye, only healers can see them.

  The sick, like Xavier, were most vulnerable to the smite. As they become fearful and desperate to hold on to life, the smite feed on this and slowly devour the person from the inside. Gilda said that majority of people die before their time not b
ecause of the disease they had but because of the smite. More often than not, sick people become worse right after the diagnosis. And it was because of the smite.

  When Dr. Moore left them to attend to his other patients, Hugh quickly left Helen's side while Dr. Lively took his place on the settee.

  Hugh dragged the ottoman beside Xavier and checked on him, "You okay, man?" He fixed his eyes on Xavier. He was eerily sensing the dark cloud beside him making the hair on his arms stand. If he stood still for a moment, he could see what looked like little confetti of different neon colors which seemed stuck on one side of the dark shadow.

  "I've had better days," Xavier said softly, managing a thin smile across his lips. "You're not seeing anything, are you?" he asked suspiciously.

  "Seeing what?" Hugh replied rather quickly just as Xavier raised a knowing eyebrow at him. "Oh, please don't start now!"

  Clueless to what the smite could be doing, Hugh quickly looked back at Helen and saw from the corner of his eye, the dark shadow enveloping Xavier and slowly entering his body. He was thinking he needed to act fast before the whole thing swallows Xavier and things will only get to worse.

  "It's just that—" Hugh began to say not really knowing what will cheer up Xavier. "I saw Jonah!"

  A small smile appeared on Xavier's face. "Yeah, I know. It has been days since I saw her talking to you outside—on the porch. When are you going to get around to telling me?"

  "You know how mom feels—" Hugh told Xavier, seeing that the smite was lifting up and hanging in the air.

  "She hasn't given up?" Xavier asked his blue eyes lighting up.

  Hugh laughed out loud, "Very stubborn—" he told Xavier.

  "Did you ask why she's doing this?" Xavier inquired hesitantly.

  "Do I need to ask?" Hugh answered Xavier. "Isn't it obvious? You are very important to her."

  Xavier smiled once again. "You think so?"

  Hugh slowly nodded his head. Somewhere within his chest, he felt an uncomfortable tug.